please come you make the beer taste better
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
