I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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