I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
