Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
