Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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