I feel like abortions should bother me more
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize