Pants 0. Shit 1.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
