can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
