enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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