Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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