Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize