The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
