i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
