YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
