i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
