My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
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He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
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My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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