the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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