Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
