i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
