sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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