Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
there was a trapeze. enough said
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
