So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
