i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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