From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
