I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I want her autograph on my taint
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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