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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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