I wanna bring you to show and tell
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
