Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
