Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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