I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
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