everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
