even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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