Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
