shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
