I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
