Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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