Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
