I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize