pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
