Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
wow bdsm is so cute
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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