Can i not drive my cunt home
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Drunk is a universal language darling
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