Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
