What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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