Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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