if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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