i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
