Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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