I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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