have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
