the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
