he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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