why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
