"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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