Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
