I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
two words: eviction party
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
