I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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